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Friday, August 30, 2013

MIRROR IMAGE

According to my understanding, 'I', 'we', 'everyone', 'everything', the 'universe' and the multitudes of others we don't even know that exist, and 'anything' else I've left out is all part of that great 'MAGNIFICENT ENERGY', that most of us fondly call 'GOD/ALLAH/BHAGWAAN/MALIK'.
I also understand that 'ME'
(for all future references we shall call that divinity ME, coincidental I know for ME is I and I is ME, ahem, moving on from this mediocre observation)
So, I do understand that 'ME' is above all judgements, is loving and since it is everything and everything is it, it keeps no judgment for anything that we do. So, what we sow we reap. Fair and simple. We practice our free will, and, so we must accept the consequences of that free will.
While I truly believe every word I have written and stand by it, I'd also like to believe that 'ME' adapts to a personality according to the way one lives his/her life. So, for me, my 'ME' seems to have a sense of humor. Teaches me lessons when I am least expecting it. But, I'm not the one to complain.

After that little crash course on the basic principle of our (or just mine, wouldn't wanna force my thoughts on anyone else) very own beings' cosmic laws, I shall get on with my story. The lesson I learnt.

Life's been good now a days, after struggling hard, sunk my teeth into something I could professionally call my own. So, here I am thinking to myself, finally AKSHAY DOGRA seems to be arriving. Being loved and accepted for his work and not for who he is associated with(Yes, yes, every now and then I will refer to myself in third person). So, basking under my very own little sun shining on my little world, I knew things will only look up. To be clear, I know that whatever love or appreciation or recognition I get, no matter how widespread or limited, I am forever grateful, for such things are showered upon without expectations, selflessly, unconditionally. (while you read these lines imagine a soft emotional background score, more effective!)

Ok, so we have established that I am now a little established in my professional life. Family, Friends and people I don't even know confirm that every now and then by approaching me. Especially the wonderful people who have otherwise nothing to do with me, would walk up appreciate my work, its good to see a smile on their faces. Good for my ego too, right? Yes it is. So, I walk around whenever in public knowing people are turning around giving me a second look. This is not about fame as much as it is about recognition of work. For an actor, to come on National Television and not be recognized is a sign that somewhere his product that he acts in is not being viewed henceforth, rendering his/her job sort of, of no significance. We as actors help convey stories and entertain. So, I say, recognition is a big reward for the job we do to earn our bread and butter.

And, I say to myself everyday now, the rewards are coming in. And, for all the other worldly desires that arise due to this, take wings. Now, in my mind, a better paycheck, a better car, better cellphone, better laptop, and of course time to own a house in Oh so freakin unnecessarily expensive Bombay, is all within my reach!

Suddenly, AKSHAY DOGRA sees himself in the mirror and doesn't see himself as just about any other guy, but a wee bit more special, for only someone special would receive love from people he/she doesn't even know right? (now, all of this is building up in the subconscious, mind you, before you the reader, begin to make any judgments). So, I am special, I walk around with that knowledge. The inner self smiles and when people turn around with that surprised expression. I know what they are saying, the mind mouths it exactly at the same time they move their lips from a peripheral distance, "arre, woh Akaash hai!!", taking it in, playing it cool, this new AKSHAY DOGRA walks along pretending to be just like anyone else.

Anyone reading this right now, would think, So what's new, we know this condition. It's called VANITY!.

And, this is exactly what this little (or not so) musing is about. 'Vanity', 'Aham', 'I' or largely known as 'The Ego'.

Ever since, I decided to start working in front of the camera, to become an 'ACTOR', my life has been one roller coaster ride. I have to say, it has accelerated my spiritual journey. I have gone past so many barriers, crossing the hurdles that the life of a commercial actor comes across.

One must think, that for a person who's on such a ride of life must surely be absolutely sorted, at least, thats what I always thought. That every difficult moment I passed, I would think I am wiser, while, that is true but only for that moment, because once it's passed, a new alien situation will present itself, testing you teaching you a lesson, the true lessons you/me/everyone is here to learn. Now, I keep reminding myself of that every now and then, but I am only human, so I forget, oops!

Past couple of months, I was busy realizing other spiritual goals while going about my corporeal/materialistic life, that I forgot that one basic principle of the spiritual self. And, that is exactly what the Almighty 'ME', decided to teach me.

Parallel to my life, is running the life of another gifted individual. I don't know much about him, other than what ever I see on various public platforms he might appear on, and I might have seen him on.

As, someone mentioned every person in the world has at least 7 lookalikes, and this one seems to be mine, or I his. Whichever way you wanna see it, we lookalike.

There he is, living his life on the other side of the city, working on the big screen. And, here I am on the other side every now and then coming to the TV screens, Monday to Friday 'Don'tcha forget to watch'. We are both Actors, and thats where I thought the similarities ended. But, I guess as people have been pointing out he is mine and I his mirror image. 
It all started from an innocent comment from a friend one day congratulating me for 'Ashiqui 2', then more friends joined in. It was amusing, and, to me only a short lived comparison.
Again, disregarding such comparisons, 'the AKSHAY DOGRA' went about his life, taking in the appreciation, the second looks from strangers, the wide eyed affection, the awed gesture of asking for a picture or an autograph, when suddenly I felt a spike in the number of people approaching me. I thought to myself, 'not bad, I am getting popular, considering my shows off air!'. Of course, such revelry was, but, short lived.

Ashiqui 2 was a success, the man, my lookalike was a success, so a natural rise in his celebrity status was inevitable. Well, If ever I cross paths with him, I would love to tell him all about it, I have experienced it first hand.
Moving on, for an actor his image is created by the perception of his/her audience and we begin to live that. So, what happens when that very image suddenly starts getting opaque (for lack of a better word).
I have had people come up to me and appreciate me for my work, but then, suddenly I had people coming over and congratulating me for the work of another person. It was funny at first, actually it still is sometimes, but, I guess it all started spiraling out of control from the night when a group of friends placed a bet on who I was, So sure were they on who I was that for a split second I would have gone along with the charade of being the man they so wanted me to be.
Slowly, actually, no not slowly but rapidly the number kept growing, in fact I have been called a liar for saying that I am not him, I have seen people feel disappointed, because I would tell them I am not him. A pretty and very smart girl even called me rude, when I offered to show my drivers license as proof of me being (a better looking version... aah vanity again ;) ) a guy who just looks like him, and it doesn't help that my wife who was with me at the time insisted that I, Aditya shouldn't disappoint a fan! Sheesh, word of advice, your partner and your friends no matter how much they love you, will always be ready to have some fun at your expense. I am still planning a diabolical plan to get back at my wife for doing that to  me, but, unfortunately, she's way smarter than I am.

But, that is a story for another day, I digress. The truth is that every thing must happen for a reason, even the minutest, inconsequential experiences that seem out of place when we look at them in isolation. Looking back at the larger picture, when you run your life, with whatever's happened in the past like a movie you will see everything fits so wonderfully. That everything has a purpose. That little fight with the rickshawala you didn't think matter, your laptop, cellphone, TV set giving up on you when you are deep into something. Everything happens just they way it's designed to.
This is where cause and effect comes into play, the universe just works for you, with its pure and simple laws of nature that are equal for every being on this planet. It is the ripple effect, whatever you chose to do or not do, it will create ripples in the little pond of your life.
I believe with every ounce of atom in my being that everything that happens or at least that happens to me is there to help further my real goal in life, to nourish my soul, to educate my spiritual energy, to elevate my aura/aatma/energy to the level of the Devine as that is the one and final goal for all of us on this dimension/plane called earth.

So, what have I learnt from this experience. Humility. It is fairly easy to feel celebrated, to feel like you are above those few people who give you attention and put you on a pedestal (and I haven't even experienced one percent of the fame that engulfs a film star) and you begin to float above all, feeding all that is but junk food for your soul, force feeding it at that! So when the Universe/ME watch you wandering off your path, it gives you gentle reminders, it acts as your wake up alarm. Most of the times we are so comfortable in the cozy bed of thoughts we have created for ourselves that we put these alarms on snooze. But, the universe isn't some stationery inanimate alarm clock that you can ignore. It is, after all your life force, so the gentle reminders become a nudge and GOD forbid if you ignore that, well lets just say, sugar coating it, you WILL be pushed off the bed. If that doesn't wake you up either, then, it's sad but hey, there's other lifetimes, karma's going to catch up, but be strong you'll be able to sail through the Karmic storms.
So, I would call this a gentle reminder from the universe to me anout humility. I am grateful enough to have people around me who have become great friends and have tasted success that I haven't reached yet and yet they remain rooted to their souls, humble as ever knowing for a fact, that they are just working and the celebrity status that has been endowed upon them is inconsequential, for it is here today but may not remain with them forever. Everything changes, every second. That is the law of the universe.
I understand that now, thanks to the gentle reminders and the friendly footnotes from my friends and family, that's what they are for. Sometimes, the ones who love or whom you love will say or do something that might hurt you, but they are only helping you in your spiritual process. So, all we must do is learn our lessons, do our spiritual homework and when the day comes for our judgment, lets just say, I want to pass that with flying colors (a set of angel wings on my back will do just fine for that ;) ).

Ending this little musing I pray, that, all, who are on the right path and those who are lost, open their eyes to the gentle reminders and nourish their souls. Because, it is true what the wise ones say, the day you stop learning, will be the beginning of the end for you.

Well, let's just hope that day never comes, for anyone. PERIOD.

May there be Peace and Love. Always.
  

32 comments:

Unknown said...

That was a very well written piece, Akki :)

I loved everything about it from the way u make fun at yourself to the way u talk about your personal and professional life and the effect they have on you...I liked reading about your spiritual experience from your words u have found a balance that works for you and that makes me very happy :)

I'm proud of what you have accomplished and what you will continue to accomplish in the future...Keep up the great job *Hugs*

Love you xox

Unknown said...

Brought a smile on my face....
You're an amazing writer!!!!!��������
Tahira Khan��

shaley said...

U are really good at writing also sir,am Really Impressed By Ur Writing Skills and Would Love To Read More.it Made Me Smile.thanks Fr That!keep Writing

shaley said...

So u are a great writer also sir.am really impressed by ur writing skills,how u manged to balance b/w the selection of words.really while reading this a smile crept over my face naturally just ad natural n simple as ur post is.thanks fr that natural smile sr.keep writing,i would love to read more

Prats said...

Oops!!! I had SP Balasubramanium humming away while I read this. Beautifully said Akshay. Let me first say I'm proud of you for starting this blog. And I'm glad you have your wife and others around you keeping you grounded. It's a tough job trust me. I really pray that you reach a position where you will have all those things that you've looked at from afar and the mirror image just becomes you. Cheers!!!

Unknown said...

Very well written Akshay :-)
Intellectually written with good amount of humor making me smile all the time.
The resemblance with Aditya is striking. I remember I went to watch the movie with my colleague and we both said simulatenously that "he looks like Akash" :D
Wish you scale greater heights and more joy in whatever you chose to do and opportunities come knocking on your door and embrace you with success, happiness and contentment.

Sarah Zakir said...

awwsome piece of writing!! u write so well.. keep writing.. would love to read more.... :)

Unknown said...

wow akshay I didn't know u were a great writer too. its enlightening. good job.

athiyam said...
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athiyam said...

"I am grateful enough to have people around me who have become great friends and have tasted success that I haven't reached yet and yet they remain rooted to their souls, humble as ever knowing for a fact, that they are just working and the celebrity status that has been endowed upon them is inconsequential, for it is here today but may not remain with them forever. Everything changes, every second. That is the law of the universe." love this para..so well put. all the best n keep that faith :)

Unknown said...

There is a way you have written of what you wanted to write..from the ups to lows...for the exaggerated to the narrowness in life...personal or professional ..u would never want to mix them no matter what...in spite of everything u haven t left your humor which keeps you going..or to be more precise which helps you have a guard at times...loved the wavelength in which you have written it..sometimes not only look alike but even your friends and family are your MIRROR IMAGE of what you are as a person..at the end its all about the way you wanna see it and accept it..
p.s. spirituality is from within...no books no sayings will change your prospective about things for long..until and unless you find within yourself inner peace and satisfaction...
replied as a person s prospective...no to a person who s star for me...sorry if anything written have hurt you...:)

Unknown said...

An interesting post, a little rambling may be :). We all question ourselves through out life and get taught all kinda lessons. As my son said the other day that he did not want grow up coz he likes his life as is. Then he turned around and asked me do I like my life right now and my instantaneous response was YES. I explained to him that we find something interesting during every phase of your life and the process of learning makes us enriched. While teaching finer points of life, I felt I really did enjoy the journey life with all that it throws at us. So to end my rambling, good to see that you are not placing your self esteem in the hands of others coz that's suicide. I know show biz comes with is hang ups but if you approach it as another job and not be bothered by the adulation you will be in a better place.

Also if I ever meet Adita Roy Kapoor, I will definitely walk up to him and say "Akshay, loved your performance in IPKKND, can you give me an autograph and could you also sing Balwant Kaur ?" Just for you!!

Anu said...
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Anu said...

u inspired me akshay! the smile still lasts on my face.....!

Unknown said...

Compliments to you Akshay....you are a very talented writer. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your piece and eagerly look forward to your future posts. I love the combination of wit and humour. For someone, I can only relate to having watched on TV, it is refreshing to find that you are simple and down-to-earth. Deepak Chopra says 'the Universe is your playground, stay in love with its infinite possibilities'....so you do the same and success will meet you at every turn....I should have mentioned this at the beginning, I love the play on your name 'A. Dogged', simply brilliant!! Aarthi Singh

Oblivion said...

Beautifully written

Unknown said...

Enjoyed random thoughts of The Akshay Dogra...I enjoyed reading your writing style...some of it was too deep and so true...n in my opinion u don't look like Aditya n u look and act far better than him...again my opinion...just be who u r and with the support of your wife, family, and good friends success will come knocking on your door as u r a good human being n a brilliant actor...I m not just saying this because of IPKKND but also your part in Karol Bagh n punar vivah...loved u in all your roles which I have seen...hoping to see u soon on TV again...n plz update your blog soon...would love to read more of your thoughts...maybe this time more on a comic note!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I didn't know that you're a great writer too. Well said Akshay <3

Afroza Khanam said...

Reading through all the thoughtful words you have written, I can only say I fallen in love with you even more.
You write beautifully and I am so glad I got to read this! Thank you so much! Keep up the awesome writing!

mi7chimes said...
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mi7chimes said...

Need I say a few words?
Now that I have been fortunate enough to read at leisure, words from a man I have realised, were written only when I decided one random day that I should update myself with tweets from this very man, which my evergrowing following list (I sow with my very own shameless 'I wanna touch everything' hands), hides to my 'I am not gonna do anything about it' displeasure, and found myself wishing a belated birthday mentioning to him, I now understand, probably thrashing his 'ME', that I might not yet be a true fan of his skills onscreen but instead a loyal one of his tweet-verse. I guess I must.
Not just a shout out, being a part of the attentive crowd but an actual effort to stand tall and get noticed when I say thank you, for putting into little pockets of alphabets laced in finely tuned humour, with the undertone of a glorified self in the past, what could have been set bland in "Learn from your lessons, dude!", but evidently effective this way rather than that.
Only one word of advice though - proofread. Whack me Lol, because I do know a 'n' for 'b' is nothing to an eye (and I must really be out of my mind for ruining it all) but still when we are talking about ME = I and I = ME, a peck that stands out is a peck, infamous or famous.
Will wait for more. So make it soon.
Thank you. Again.
Ress~

PS: I make mistakes (deleted comment) too, is human to do but you are special in my eyes, say what you may.

Time said...

Hey Akshay, just wanted to say this is really quite good and honestly if you were to write an autobiography or biography it would sell! And in terms of your success on the small screen I just wanted to point out that most households in India have a TV and honestly success doesn't mean you have to necessarily get to the top. Oh and I liked the bit where you said 'wee bit' because only the Scottish say that. I look forward to some more blogs.

From England

Sandyy said...

Loved it Akshay :) Your style is fab. One has to remember ME always...it helps in self-realisation. If we don't know ourselves and our struggles..who else will? Moreover, our struggles should be a reminder that, we should be grounded.

All the best....Akshay!!

Zainab Zakkiyah said...

These so called 'Random Thoughts' show the depth of a Great Mind.. Mr Dogra is obviously a well-read person with his mind well ahead on the track to Enlightenment.. Kudos.. Riveting writing.. I'd like to read more of these thoughts.. All the best!!

Unknown said...

Enjoyed ur musing from 1st to last word....inspiring words. it's true that at the end of the day we all have to face the Almighty and most of all u yourself. U hv to wake up if ur not aware of ur doings, be it ri8 or wrong...u should know what u r doing,and mostly what u r exactly. So when one day on a beautiful twilight u can smile with content. Can enjoy ur life with ur loved ones, ur friends .....
thank u for sharing ur thoughts.....loved it! :)

GEOGRAPHER SANCHARI said...

waoooo .. seems like your are a chupa Rustam :) awesome writing. Brought Smile on my face :) Welcome to the blogger. I am waiting to read lot more :)

Unknown said...

loved it! you are a wonderful writer... please write more often.
And my best wishes to you...!!!

Madnessmultiple said...

Mr.A.Dog...
I had to rub my eyes repeatedly to realise that is indeed you who wrote this blog!
So really let me get down to my comment:
1)I love your wife's sense of humor
2)you are just as talented a writer as I thought you were a thinker
3)you are and always will be humble
4)Akshay will arrive and how..and that day I'm willing to get up from my grave to see it
5)the blog is fab and the reason it's long is that you have great expressive power and since it's not a business seminar..I completely appreciate the length of it
6)write more..I wanna read
7) thank you for being you
An ardent admirer of your personality and mind,
Shegarf

addicted25 said...

Akshay, I must say im very impressed with your writing. I just saw your tweet ( your thoughts on thankfullness-which i shall read before i sleep tonight i hope) and thought, well why not have a read. I was a late comer to IPKKND, and by the time the second showing finished I had watched it twice on the internet and had started googling you all. Suffice to say I did think you had done ashiki?, but was left dissapointed it wasnt you! Although i did like the film, very different and grown up. I completely agree with your musings, thst being who put us on this earth will only give you what you can handle, what you sowed, and occaisionally flick you on the head to remind you that you are moving your ego above that level that was deemed right for you. Keep writing, blogging what ever. Best wishes to you and your family, congratulations on becoming a father, now the hard work of becoming a dad starts. ENJOY it before you know it they are towering over you and their vonvesations will ho over your head :) bless you.

Dua Batool said...

Hey there Akshay! This is the first time I've read any of your blog and I must say I'm truly impressed. Before coming to this page, the maximum exposure of your writing and spiritual/philosophical/a very good observation of life side of yours would only be revealed in your instagram posts, and they would always trigger my mind and gave a look that you're a very intellectual person and a keen observer and interpreter of life/nature/ME (in your words ;) ). I'm so glad that some fine day you decided to make this blog and pen down all your thoughts, that are pretty valuable indeed.
As my name is Dua, I'll surely give you some duas. (I tried to make it a joke but failed miserably.) But on the serious note, I really wish you a very blessed, peaceful and content life.

PS, I laughed for life a minute after reading what your wife did to you in front of a misguided fan. Lots of love for your wife and son! xx

Dua Batool said...
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Dua Batool said...

^ Laughed for like* a minute.
Excuse the typo here, must've been on an overdose of life..