Unknown Soldier

The unknown soldier was a song sung by The Doors. A powerful piece I felt at the time when I first heard it, Morrison at the helm lamenting the fallen or unnamed soldiers of his times.

It is true for our times as well, there are wars being fought everywhere in this world at this point of time. For all of us who live in our peaceful surroundings it is these soldiers we have to thank for.

While they do that on the macro level, protecting our sovereignty, we forget to look a little closer. I mean there's huge support and gratitude for the soldiers out their fighting actual physical wars, created because of political/religious/corporate agendas, that affect us on a larger scale. But, there are soldiers right next to us, the kinds we cross paths with every single day, that go unacknowledged. Some of them help us making our lives better like our domestic helps, drivers, office boys, lift men, guards or even the one's that might not touch our lives but are equally important. People who can inspire us, through what they have overcome in their lives, people who might have fallen but got up and moved on, people who have that indomitable energy to brighten up a place with their attitude.

Today, my task is to send out a note of thanks to people who deserve recognition. I understand, that this is an assignment just for today, but it gives you food for thought. It plants a seed deep within, to imbibe certain values that we forget in our busy lives, that is to give equal love and respect to human beings from all walks of life, to not take them for granted, to live with the knowledge that each being in this world possesses the same gifts of greatness that we celebrate through some selective people who might have used it to amass wealth, fame or anything else that could be considered populist.

Each individual uses these gifts on a daily basis, maybe just for survival, maybe to make someone's life a little better, maybe due to passion or compassion, But, all of us have it. I mean, it would be easy to recognize this gift in ourselves, that's the easy egocentric part. But, to be aware of each individual related or unrelated to us is the thing to learn here.

So, I'm going to write a thankful note each to at least 5 people, that I have come across, who deserve recognition for sure.

1. Mani -

I'm starting from home, Mani is our baby's nanny. It would be very well to say, that we are paying her and she is doing her job, so why the need to thank her. But, the fact that she does it with love, especially from the very first day she came to our house, with no connection with us or our boy, she has not only taken care of the baby but us as well. She put her soul in the job. Does her chores and even some jobs she isn't asked to do, with love. That is more than what we can ask from another human being. You go Mani!! You make it possible for us to go out, get some time off, do yoga, have lunches, while you are left behind with our boy and you do it with a smile. Danke!

2. Pawan dada -

This man represent a large chunk of people actually. In our 'Industry', they are called the spot boys. they are the ones who handle the pantry of our sets, serve us whenever they are called for. But to be honest, they pretty much do any and every menial job that is pushed their way. Conventionally they are at the bottom most level in the hierarchy department of our industry. The pay isn't much, and most probably they work in this department because they need to earn for survival.

Why Pawan dada? He is the embodiment of this hardworking lot of people, who although may be doing 'a job so thankless and least rewarding' to survive and run a family, but doing so with pride, honesty and in all earnest.

Once, sitting between shots, I asked him, kaam pe kitne baje aate ho? [what time do you come to the set for work?] and he replied, in a matter of fact tone, shoot agar 9 ka hai to 8 baje tak, samaan unload karna hota hai... tab tak shift shuru ho jaati hai!'[if the shoot is at 9 then at 8, coz we have to unload everything, by teh time we are done the shift begins!]... I looked at him, my brows raised (because when the shift is at 9, I cringe when the scheduler gives me a call time of 8:30, my reasoning, dude... i get ready in 5 minutes!! I'm coming in at 9!) I probe further, magar chutti to 9 baje hi hoti hogi na, humaare saath hi? [but, you must be packing up at 9, with all of us!], and again without batting an eyelid he smiled and said, nahi, kareeb ek ghante baad, sab kucch samet ke... ghar pahuchte pahuchte 12 baj jaate hai! [no, almost after a hour of that, have to sort everything out... by the time we reach home its midnight!].

Needless to say, I learnt two things through his demeanor and answer. One, like years back someone had told me, 'koi kaam bura nahi hota! jo kaam mile usse dil se karo! [No job is ever undignified! Whatever we get, we must do it with our hearts in it]. And, you now what, in my days at the Yoga institute, this was a concept that was encouraged and imparted openly, KARMA YOGA! 
Even the act of sweeping the floor, picking garbage must be done with complete awareness and devotion and you will never be unsatisfied with at least your output.

This is exactly what Pawan dada does every day, relentlessly running around the whole set, picking this or that, serving tea, coffee, food to a set that has almost 70 people any given day.

May you and so many others like you, never face hardships, or at least have the means and strength to face them. May you and many others like you in various industries across the globe be happy and grow.

3. Avi*Name changed (I know this goes against the whole idea of recognition, but its the spirit I want people to see, respecting his privacy) -

This person is someone I grew up with. He was elder to me, And as a kid I never left his side, I used to idolize him and his family. They were my adoptive family. I'm sure many of you who are reading this might have one such friend, whose family treated you the same. He is the most soft spoken, respectful and intelligent person I have ever seen and he still is.

So, why is he on this list?  

As we are born into this world, I believe our lives rapidly begin to form a connection of events to test, make, break, rebuild and test again, for who we are and are going to be.

Good and bad events spring up in a our lifetime, due to karmic debts or otherwise to build them. Even if you believe it or not, inexplicable events do happen to us daily testing our character, reshaping our future, not the way we might have imagined it, but the way we are going to shape it by the way of our reactions.

Avi's life is pretty much the same, except for one little thing, his character has stood the test of time. I am not going to go into details of what happened to him, but, to cut a long story short, he lost his father, he was brutally murdered by his kidnappers, had a broken relationship, a broken engagement, got married but the woman was just after money, so she dragged him and the rest of his family through hell, so a broken marriage. All of this in a span of 6 years. I don't know about anyone else reading this post but, I dread to think what all of this would have done to me psychologically.

But, Avi stood tall. He had weak moments, all of us do... he was given to depression, but he didn't let any of that drag him further down. I mean there was no miraculous, moving of mountains story. He just simply stayed true to his character, the respectful and intelligent person that he was back when we were kids. He is truly one of those unknown soldiers, who teach us that, no matter how difficult the circumstances of our lives may be, if we quite simply stay true to ourselves, never forget self respect and respect for others, that no matter what we have faith, we can overcome anything.

And, I am so glad to say this, that now he had a happy ever after, married to a wonderful woman, moved to a beautiful place, started a new life. He is where he belongs.

See, I'd like to acknowledge, my friend Sanaya for this saying, cos she says this a lot, 'Good things happen to Good People!!' :) 

They sure do.

4. Sargun Mehta - I am taking the liberty of writing about her. She doesn't know that I am doing this. And, those of you who know her, might be wondering, why her? She is recognized enough! Yes, she is but for the part that she chooses to show to the world. That of an actor, who performs in TV and films.

But, this beautiful soul of the universe, is a little more than that, and although she is humble enough to not talk about it in the media, I believe this deserves as much recognition as her celebrity profile gets.

I and my wife have known her for about 6 years now. Due to our crazy schedules, there are times we might not be in touch with each other for long periods, but I had always thought that we were close enough to know each other pretty well.

That changed a few years ago, when we met her for dinner. Like a lot of other times, we were meeting after a long enough gap, there was a lot of catching up to do. So we shared our bits, and she listened, she shared hers, work, personal life etc etc.... then my wife mentioned something about her desire to work for an NGO and that's when we were both swept off our feet by this girls humility and sense of service. It turns out, she had been a part of the teach India campaign for years, she would go to teach children in slums whenever time permitted. She had been doing it in college, but even after having done TV and becoming pretty known, she continued. She still does it, whenever she can.

I am in awe of this girl, not just because she does good deeds, but also because, she truly practices the fact that serving someone is not done for the fulfillment of the ego. It's sole purpose is to serve others. It's such a good lesson for me, and maybe for all of us, that charity or dhamma seva (as I'd like to call it) is a selfless act, where all ego must dissolve, only then does it truly become a good deed.

5. Anil Dogra -

By the name you must have guessed, that this person is a family member. He is my fathers' cousin. The reason for him to be on this list is because he is one of those people who teach us what loyalty is. Again, he is one of the most mild mannered human beings I have ever come across in my life. A gentle man, with his feet firmly grounded, with a very humble family history.

Ever since I can remember he has been by my father's side. Younger to my father, he has been there whenever my father wanted him to be. If I needed a pair of bongos to learn the tricks of percussion, he was the guy to help out, if my sister needed to go to some class, he was the guy to go and find out. My dad would call him, and he would show up. When my dad was in need of finances, he has been the one to help out, even when his earnings were modest. When I had 'the' accident that landed me in the hospital, the first person I would see when I woke up, even before Sakshi would arrive, was him. He has helped every single time. He has smiled through it all. He has stood by all those who are a part of his life, family or friends. Especially for me and my family, he has given a lot of himself, without ever expecting anything from us.

For that he deserves my deepest gratitude, my utmost respect. Thank you.

As you can see this is no lament, but a celebration to such people we encounter each day. I wish that we can be a little like this for someone, to truly make this world a better place. 

What are you grateful for today?

The small room had windows on three of it's four walls. A modest bed, a bucket that held the freshly soaked umbrella. There was a rickety desk by one of the windows that overlooked the street almost a floor below the room. Sitting at the desk staring blankly at the piece of paper, he could hear people passing by, cars honking. Tourists coming in and going out.

Distracted, he looked away from the paper and turned around to the other window, a cloud just rolled by and when it did, it cleared up the view for him to see the mountains all in line ready to kiss the sky. He saw the empty space next to it. Then looked at the spot he was sitting at. A bemused smirk laced up on his lips, as he checked on the table and shook his head, knowing what he had known since his last try. The table and chair were nailed to the floor. There was no way of changing the view. If he needed the desk, the busy street view is what he got.

He sighed and got up from the desk, the paper shuffled as it caught the breeze from scenic window, settling down almost immediately, as though the weight of the list of things written on the page was enough to ground it. Meanwhile, he ignored the scenic window, it seemed that's what the owners of the hotel wanted from its patrons. To give the the mountains some privacy for their romantic overtures towards the sky.

Sitting on the bed, he shut his eyes for a few seconds as he rested his head on the post. In that very moment he could hear the echo of his breath, shallow and deep, heavy, light... it began to mix with the ambience sound. The sounds were dancing together in a rhythm, he was enjoying the melody, when he heard a bird chirp. This broke his reverie, the chirp wasn't a part of the song he was listening to. Opening his eyes he looked at the bird. It was a himalayan woodpecker, with it's red top head and probing eyes, it stared hard at him. He didn't move, politely returning the gaze to his guest. His eyes meeting the peckers' with equal intensity. Having stared long enough at it he could swear that it was smiling at him.

The pecker without warning, flew into the room, he didn't budge. The bird seemed to have known it's way around the room, it glided across the room and landed on the table. Close enough to the paper, it looked straight at it this time. He slowly sat up, folding up his legs and intently waited for the peckers next move. The pecker examined the contents of the paper, the words reflecting off it's eyes... he could see them. And he spoke for the first time, My friend you  must be wondering, what I've penned down in there! Do you want me to tell you? 

The pecker looked up only to acknowledge his presence and looked back at the paper. He smiled as he continued, That is a list of everything I have, and that... he pointed to the other column, those are the list of things I so badly want! Just as he finished saying that, the pecker slammed it's beak on the paper. He didn't flinch, but just bent forward to check what the damage was. Sure enough there was a blaring hole on the desire column. He smirked as he saw the pecker now ripping apart one of the items he wanted from there. the little shred of paper in its mouth it looked at him again. He nodded and spoke again, do you want it so bad, that you snatch my desire from me?

The pecker almost barked at him as it went ahead and slammed it's beak a dozen times on the paper, he just sat there witnessing this and before he could lift a finger he saw the pecker had torn apart his whole desire list, this time it stared hard at him, almost as though challenging him. His, expressions changed a bit, brows creasing, he snapped, how dare you??? you trying to take away my... he paused... then tried to continue, my... my... but for the life of him he couldn't name one desire that he had penned down on that list. Suddenly he calmed down, looked at the bird, then at the paper, the only side still intact, was the list of things he already had or milestones he had achieved. He kept looking at the paper as the pecker flew across the window and sat back on the scenic window... when it all dawned on him, looking away from the bird, he looked down at the busy street and said with finality, you took away what I desired, And I have to be honest, It riled me up, a lot! but, I understand, those were things I never had in the first place!! I didn't lose anything... and now looking at the things that I do have, it wont matter if you rip the rest of this list apart, he takes the page and tears the rest up, making a nest of the shredded paper, offers it to the bird and continues, I have already achieved these things, these milestones... they will forever be a part of me. They have served me well!! Sitting here seeing you rip my list apart, I know... those were just desires. Whatever I have, however modest or outdated as compared to the new thing, it is mine and serving me well. 

The pecker hearing this flew towards him and starts to pick on the shredded paper nest, the pecker is gentle with it's beak... He sits patiently letting the pecker take every shred of paper... and as the pecker flies off with the last bits, he gets up following it to the scenic window. As he looks out, he sees up in the distance, the pecker, landing on a scaffolding, with a board that asked, What are you Grateful for today?? And pat comes the reply, Everything!    

The Stool of Wisdom

Pardon the pun in the title, but It comes from a goofy place in my heart. May you not get the imagery that comes with the title. ;)

The key element of being human is that our lives can be full of drama. Unlike animals, we tend to act/react to events created not just by others, but circumstances created by our own selves as well. 

And, when this acting/reacting reaches a tipping point, then, most definitely, Sh*t happens! 

The trouble with human nature is that we have come to expect sh*t to hit the ceiling every now and then, but never accept it.

I guess that's what the day 4 of this gratitude quest intends to do. To name the negatives of your life's journey and accept them and thank them, takes courage. Takes a special sense of letting go of bitterness, resentment, anger, disappointment. 

But, you know I have a different take on this day. These instances are negative only in the context of our societal structure, not for me anymore.

I'm pretty sure someone reading this would say, boy! is this guy for real?? No one's this positive! 

And I am not either, I go through my set of emotional upheavals. I most definitely have gone through negative sh*t in my life, just like every other human being on this planet, dead or alive. It is what I chose to do with it. Like I said in my previous posts, taking the pause is important. It gives you time to reflect. So when I read todays task I did just that. I had to rummage through my whole past to see what are these negative things that I am now grateful for. But, along the line I realized that I am going about it the wrong way. I couldn't find anything negative in my life, because, now, on hindsight, everything happened to place me where I am today. And, isn't the whole concept of being grateful just that. How can you be grateful for something and still think it's negative.

It is said that, when the Buddha came across, Angulimala, the dreaded serial killer of his times, who had killed 999 and Buddha would have been his 1000th, The great Buddha didn't see the murderer, even when he was dissuaded by the world around him to not approach him, he saw his soul, that needed to be saved. 

Of course I know, we are not Buddha's, but we sure have the potential to be one in smaller acts of kindness to ourselves, when we encounter such Angulimalas (metaphorically speaking), when we go through negative experiences in life that end up killing a bit of our peace of mind. 

So, the first step I take is, take the title away of negativity from any experience. See the positive gain from it, or if I cant see it at that moment, step back and leave it to time and see how my life unfolds. It has not disappointed me so far. I understand it is difficult. The intensity of overwhelmingly negative events varies from being to being, but it is no match in front of the intensity of the strength of our positivity. If we see ourselves in a good light, it will reflect on everything around us. 

Then how will anything be negative. It won't! 

I always keep in mind, that happiness is like a diamond, I know it is there and all the experiences good or bad are just layers hiding that diamond. My eyes are set on the diamond and not the layers.

That's That!! 

The writings on the wall

This is exactly what happens when you over think things, you miss the deadline! 

I admit, I have failed to deliver on my promise to write one post every day of my 21 day gratitude quest. I got lazy and fell off the wagon. 

But, better late than never! 

It's been almost 2 years since I first went to 'The Yoga Institute', an institution that has been run by one family of yogis for almost 90 years. That's a lot of yoga and philosophy! 

Sakshi took me there when she had first decided to pursue a teachers training course. Situated so close to the Mumbai domestic airport, that taking a walk in its garden you could count the screws holding a planes wings together (ok, I'm exaggerating, but it is close enough to hear the roar every time it takes off or lands).  It had a little old world charm to it. A structure reminiscent of the early 80's, a walking path circling the complex, trees and plants carefully planted for shade. And, trust me, it's not a very big place by any standards, big enough yes, but a plot not bigger than an Olympic size pool (couldn't think of anything else for comparison). Anyhow, it came into my life when I had been out of work for some time. 

Bitterness, anger, self pity had creeped in on me, reflecting on everything in my life. I would see someone succeed and I would wonder, why not me?? I'm not a bad guy! Or am I? 

I was very open to the place when it came to Sakshi doing a course there, but a mere suggestion that maybe I should come there too and do a short term course myself, I was rigid! 

The place with its daily positive messages written on the boards carefully placed at the entrance and walking path, teachers who looked so calm and serene as though they were all buddhas, the greenery, the quietude... Everything seemed to be an overdose of sugar to me. I'd always give Sakshi an excuse, 'I have meetings, auditions..' Some times I'd just change the topic...

But, deep down I knew I needed a change in perspective sooner than later or else I would be facing a breakdown pretty soon. My first choice was to run away and travel all by myself. Sakshi knew, that wouldn't help... She insisted one last time, that I give the institute a shot... (By the way, her insistence was more of an ultimatum, no grown man likes to get his ass whooped by the missus;) ) so I relented.

I was there for one whole month. To be honest, the one month course was nothing to write home about, it mostly had bored housewives and a couple of disgruntled South American couple who felt they are not really learning any asanas... I initially would scoff at the lack of depth in my course as opposed to the longer and intensive course my wife was doing there. 

But, the days passed and I saw why I was there. My attitude didn't change overnight. But, the institute started opening me up. We might not have practiced yoga physically enough, but I understood from the teachers who taught us there, the importance of the yoga that we need to do within. 

When I sat in the class for the first time, no matter how humble I was pretending to be, I looked down upon the idea of being in a class full of housewives... I felt I probably belonged to a more yuppy crowd. But, that changed, no one really cared if I was an actor or not a housewife ;) (or maybe were really just good actors pretending to not care who I was! I'd rather believe this). I don't know if they did, but I had stereotyped all of them in my head. In my head it was going to be one long month. 

Like all things, these notions slowly broke. We talked of our fears, we gave the wrong answers to the most obvious questions, I most definitely stammered during public speaking...  I was the same as the rest. I swear, I felt normal for the first time in years. 

Realizing that no matter where you come from, how different your situations and problems might be, your feelings and reactions are the same as the other person sitting next to you. What a lesson that was!

Then came the time to stretch those legs, touch the toes and another reality struck. The stiffness I saw in my body was a reflection of the stiffness in my mind. The only thing they would tell us is, don't push yourself, your lack of flexibility and the want of it is not a battle, it is an opportunity to know yourself, embrace your present and stay in that moment. I didn't understand that in one go, it takes time... But I did (every day is not the same though, one has to keep at it), to a certain level at the institute. And, just when you give yourself a break you realize you've managed to bend/stretch just a little more. I learnt to be kind to myself, because, when you do that, your body rewards you. 

When, I started going with the flow, I became more open to the surroundings, the teachers seemed less like I had imagined them to be and I could see their compassion, when I understood that and practiced it out in the world, I could receive so much more love from people whom I had closed myself completely. 

I could read (actually see them for what they were) the messages on the boards, and on our numerous lunch break walks together I and Sakshi would read them together and discuss them, and I swear it always seemed as though they were written for me, for her. That's the beauty of it all, there are so many messages written along the path in our lives, which we don't see... All I had to do was open my eyes.

The institute opened my eyes in more ways than one, it taught me to be accepting, it gave me an introduction to a wonderful tool to connect back to my body, yoga! More importantly it got me and Sakshi on the same page. It paved a path for me, that I now just love walking on.

And the best thing is, the messages that I and Sakshi now try and write almost every day (cos there are still some sedentary days when the message board is blank, thanks to our boys routine) on our wall... But then just sometimes I draw doodles too ;). The key is to just have fun and smile along the way. And, for a lot of this...

I am grateful for the yoga institute. May all who go there benefit from it, like I did. 

A lot to thank for!

The first day was a breeze. All I had to do was announce to myself and whoever was reading that I'm now up for this little (don't really think so!) quest. It looked like a cake walk, when I was enthusiastically perusing through the gratitude calendar.

21 days of positive vibes coming from within to without. Tranquility, right?

Yeah well, this is the second day... almost half the day has gone by and I look at the exercise ahead of me and I'm thinking to myself, "do I even have that much to be grateful for??". 

So, the exercise is simple enough, I am supposed to take each letter of the alphabet and name something or someone and be grateful for it. My head keeps ringing, thinking, isn't it too sweet??

Too much to thank in one day... won't I be spent by the end of it.

Well, I'm starting off. Let's just see what I have to say by the end of "Z". 

A - 

Accidents: I have had many, quite literally, like a collision with my car into a tractor turning the corner putting me in the hospital, to the minor ones that we call "Chance". 

Where would I be without them! A little lost for sure, coz the former showed me that, now my wife, but "just friends" friend at the time of my landing in the hospital, really did have feelings for me!! Oh, it was amazing to have her by my side in that boring hospital room first thing in the morning holding my hand. I mean, seriously which "friend" comes to you in the mornings and holds your hands till your palms get sweaty. And here we are 15 years later, still holding hands with a baby in tow. 

Also, the "other", accidents that led me from one milestone of my life to another, changing my decisions, at the very moment altering my life's course completely. In the middle of it all I would wonder, why?? why is this not happening the way I want it to... but little did/do I know. It happened/s so things could happen the way they intended to. Well, Thanks a ton to that! 

B - 

Banoffee Pie: Oh yeah!! The dessert, banana, toffee and cream with a cookie dough base. Now, my wife always thought dessert was chocolate and anything to do with it, rest were just random. Boy, did she flip when she had this slice of pie! So, how is it  my story? 

I had always been crazy for Mcleodganj, a Tibetan settlement just above Dharamshala. She wouldn't get it, She's a beach person. But, I stood my ground and forced her to the mountains, cribbing and complaining, that we never travel to the hills. So the missus relents, we are there, I'm showing my favorite spots to her but, up until the pie happened, she hated the cold... So, I make her walk!! and how! And then it happened... a long scenic walk in the mountains to this quaint little pizzeria run by a local family, making authentic clay oven baked pizzas (those too were just out of this world) but the icing was a glass of ginger lemon honey tea and a generous slice of the Banoffee pie!!! One bite and she was sold... the place transformed... the pie gave me back the mountains. Need I say more! (I'm so glad that my stomachs full right now ;) )  

C -

Common Sense: Aren't we all thankful for common sense. A little bit of it goes a long way. But I must thank my senses for using it every now and then. It's got me out of tough spots.

One incident comes to mind. I was driving from Bandra onto the highway to head back to my place, when a couple of guys, looking extremely worried rode right next to my side of the car and told me about some sparks coming out from my cars bonnet. I, obviously couldn't see it, and being the trusting guy that I am, I have to admit, I pull the breaks. What's more they were ready to help. Ready to call for a mechanic, get my car checked so it doesn't blow up!! And I'm thinking, "Holy sh*t!! I wouldn't want that to happen while I'm driving!". So I did what anyone would have done, accepted their help. 

But, friends! Remember, never ever disregard the simple questions that crop up in your head at times like these. That is what common sense is made of. It made me want to check the car myself, made me question the guys about who the mechanic was, made me call up not one but two mechanics I had previously got work done from. And so, this common sense to probe started giving me some knowledge, and when I started getting confident and asked the right questions they didnt have the answer to, the guy posing as the mechanic flinched... and before I could complete, dude, take me to your garage!! This guy got going on the pretext of going for a piss (or maybe he was just shitting his pants!), and never came back!

These guys posing as good samaritans were definitely gonna get a bundle of money from me, by inducing the fear of my car catching fire. But thanks to the little simple questions popping up in my head, I got out, car running fine and the bank balance still intact. Thanks to the little mercies of common sense. Definitely, listen to it a lot more now.    

D -

Deer Park: This is not just some random place, it's a place in Delhi. A park full of deers and rabbits (their breeding closely monitored), Peacocks and ponds full of little fish. A place of my childhood. I grew up in a place the first ten years of my life which was surrounded by a lot of green cover. This was one of those places. I remember, the first thing I did when I learnt how to ride a cycle was get here with my friends, every time it was an adventure. Hide and seek, fishing (amateur and we used to put them back, didn't intend to kill them), just exploring nature. That sure was a magical time. And, I hope I can give the same to my son. A whole lot of nature, where like me he could role play the adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer .

E -

Extra!: Hey now! Who doesn't love a little extra of your favorite dish, an extra discount on your shopping, a little extra time off from work! I absolutely do!! These bonuses, if and when they spring up, are a delight. And, I just hope the universe keeps giving us an extra helping of happiness in one way or the other. 

F -

Friendship: It's pretty obvious that I would mention this relationship in general. Now, I will most definitely thank my friends individually for some reason or the other but, it is important to eulogize friendships. 

These are the support blocks of your adult life for sure. Especially if you've flown far from your nest. Friendships are what help you, hold you, teach you. 
As you grow older, friendships are what reconnect you to your parents, siblings. 

I know, they have done so, for me. 

They cement a marriage, help each other grow more as individuals, giving each other space and respect.

If it wasn't for friendships in all it's forms, I wouldn't have survived alone. 

No man is an island, I had read somewhere. How true is that! 

G -

Game of thrones: Hahaha.... do I really need to say anything about it. It's just GOOD stuff. Can't wait for the next season!!

H -

Holidays: Everybody loves some time off, forced or otherwise. I am grateful for all the free time I have been given so far. 

Go for vacations, chill at home, work on yourself or that long lost hobby, if you've got a holiday. Use it!!! 

I personally have got some well deserved ones and some that I really didn't want. But, on hindsight, I know the free days that I didn't waste in questioning why and "actually" did something, a free day or month gave me so much more.  

I -

Ivaan: That's ma li'l boy!! He chose us. And, I am grateful for it. For everything that he has in store for us. Right from his sullied diapers to his tantrums, which he has learnt so darn quickly, just to grab attention (but, I'm the dad.. won't let him get away with it. I have things in store for him as well... Hehehe). 
But, taking care of another life, unconditionally does teach you a lot. As of today, he is one of our biggest teachers. 

J -

Jamming: I'm talking about all those impromptu music sessions I orchestrated or participated in, at home or just some random staircase (no, not a good singer or musician and nor are ANY of my friends), regardless of the lack of talent. Music just uplifts the soul. And, doing a jig with a bunch of friends, just priceless!

K -

Kaushik Mani: I am individually thanking this guy. A dear old friend, with whom I developed a love for books, music, language (although, none of us know any apart from English, Hindi, he's a tamilian, so that too for him). 

We experimented with life during our college days together. We jammed poems, took the longest walks discussing religion, philosophy, psychology, literature. You, my friend are a very important part of my life. 

And to top it all, somehow through all his degenerative habits, the guy is still around... and I am grateful for that. He is a brilliant writer himself. Whose stuff I love to read and rip apart. May he take himself less seriously and write something soon.

L -

Liberty: I am talking about freedom, autonomy, a sense of self governance that all of us deserve, have, but forget. 

We forget this gift of life, when we let others decide for us, when we let them affect us, oppress us. But, it's still there. Because, when we have had enough, when common sense rings in with its simpler questions, we realize it's right there for us to take hold of and be free. More importantly, seek this liberty within, because the universe reveals its many secrets when you are truly free. 

Food for thought isn't it?

M -

Magic: For me, we use magic almost everyday. It is nothing but a well crafted surprise, that brings awe and a sense of wonderment followed by an inexplicable smile. I do it with my son. Hide my face with  my hands and then show my face, you should see his smile. When I give my wife a surprise when she is least expecting it, like a flower on her pillow, The smile!! The smile!! 

There's magic in everything around us. the scent of the flowers, the colors we see, acts of kindness from people we least expect, our being is nothing short of magic. 

N -

Naps: :) Don't you love it when you sneak in one, during a heavy day. I love them even more, when you have a day off and you sneak like thousands of them between your meals, barely getting out of bed.

Naps are nothing short of romantic interludes of a lazy day.

O -

Observing: I'm choosing a verb here. The act itself. The thing about it is, that, you can use it any which way. You can observe silence, observe a fast, observe people walking on the streets while you sip an idle cup of coffee, observe yourself within... I could go on and it's importance wouldn't be expressed enough.

Like many things instinctual, this too is forgotten when we get too involved in just reacting, acting upon, running around. But, if any of you have taken a moment and observed any of the things i just mentioned above there definitely would be a lot more peace and happiness, within and without. 

P -

Poetry: Rabindranath Tagore, William Blake, Arthur Rimbaud, Allen Ginsberg, Kalidas all of these men were the ones who made me fall in love with poetry. Poetry is what life looks like in rhythm. Here's one that I wrote once, nothing too serious... just a little fun with the words - 

A LITTLE SOMETHING 

A little word my rolling tongue speaks,

Out of its’ sound a funny rhyme, in-just sneaks.

Is it hard? Is it tough?

All I know poetry is no mean feat!

When a little word my rolling tongue does speak,

                                   I try and I try until a little poem through me takes leave.

Q -

Queen: The Band! The Band! and the legend, Mr. Freddie Mercury! Go ahead and tell me bohemian rhapsody, radio gaga, we are the champions aren't just that, Legendary!! Queen was one of my biggest influences back in my college days.    

R -

Rajnikant: COME ON!! COOOOOMMMME OOOONN!!! 

S -

Sakshi: She is my raison d'être! The glue that binds my life together in a way that it all makes sense. She is why I write, read, work on my self. Words do not do justice to what I feel for her. Besides, I think I should give her my gratitude personally, rather than write more here. ;) 

T -

Taste Buds: How else would you be able to tell the difference between, eggs benedict-molten chocolate cake-khichda-nasi goreng? How else would a show like master chef Australia work? 
Bonding over food with friends, sharing food, breaking bread. The joys of life.   

U -

Uber: It took me a while, but you've got to hand it to the guys who came up with the idea. they are running many households, and how convenient. Really! Bravo guys!! Thanks a ton!  

V -

Vipassana: A place where I really understood what meditating really is. It re-introduced this practice in my life. Helped me in so many ways. Made me understand the impermanence of each moment. Helped me look within. Of course it is a daily practice. I try.  

W -

Washroom: Heh heh heh.... the only place in the world, where I feel relieved and peaceful at the same time. My alone time. The place where I read my paper, gather my thoughts. Just me and my pot!!  

X -

I have to be honest here.... I am blank when it came to this alphabet, If any of you are thankful for something that was named with an X, lemme know!

Ok, apart from an X-ray, or celebrating X-mas (I'm just trying too hard man). so I'm gonna just X it out. 

Y -

Yoga: If meditation taught me the impermanence of things, Yoga showed me the grace of being patient. The beauty of staying still in the most contorted way possible. It is the tool that you need to make your practice of meditation stronger. A downward dog bow down to all the yoga masters in the world. 

Z -

Zen and the art of Motorcycle maintenance: A book. Actually 'THE' book for me. The one that gave me a perspective. 

This was the first ever book of philosophy/psychology/to some extent spiritual, that I read right after I passed out of school. This is the book that made me want to question things, to think on my own. Not an easy read. But, told beautifully by Robert M. Pirsig, in a narrative of a travelogue with his son across the country. 


Wow! I cant believe I've managed to do this, and it would be commendable if anyone reading this has managed to skim through or even read through this babble. Going through the alphabets, I realized that there are so many more things around us, big or small that are just amazing. these are just a few things that I wrote down on my list. There is so much more. But, like I said earlier, this exercise is definitely a dollop full of sugar. But it's my dollop full. :)   

From this day on - gratitude and other experiences

I have been away, I admit, for a long time now. 

A lot has changed since my last post, I've seen my career slide down the "I'm on a break to shit! I really need to work!" Slope, dabbled in screenplay writing for the Telly, had a baby boy, got back to acting, Monday to Friday at etc etc. 

It's been one helluva ride. I've gone through a myriad of emotions, learnt so darn much through each experience, that, I swear sometimes it brought me down to my knees. But, I'm definitely not complaining here. Enjoyed every moment of this. 

So, then I thought what better way to get back to writing my post than this wonderful challenge I came across on the web. A 21 day gratitude challenge. Quite simply put, each day I set out to pay and record my gratitude to various elements in my life, past or present, friend or foe, good or bad. Whatever it may be, I henceforth, for the next 21 days undertake this task and address everything in my life that has shaped me to be the person I am today. 

It would be pretty clear to all, why one would like to  take up such a task. Reading up on it and what the 21 days have in store, instantly infuse a positive rush through one's being. But, more than a task this is a quest! 

Isn't it true that when we have painful life experiences we gain some insights towards our own life. Lessons that can make us a better version of ourselves. And we go ahead and vow to never ever get back to being the ol asses that we once were. And then, things get better... Boy! Everything looks pretty darn good, confidence shoots up, we walk out into the world with our chests swelled up, nodding at strangers like we own the streets we walk on... I'm pretty sure some of us even imagine a peppy background score buzzing in our dreamy little heads and slowly but surely in all of this we start getting involved with getting there, doing that, needing this, getting rid of that! And lo behold! The inevitable happens!

We forget! We forget the promises we made to ourselves. We get involved with the day to day. Forget the practice for our "well-being". But trust me the universe doesn't forget. I for one know for sure that this world we live in is one giant school. We all know what happened to us when we weren't good at/ prepared for something that the teachers had prepared us for. We flunk. And then the school ends up giving us retests after retests till we get it right. So does the universe, it repeats our situations, giving gentle reminders and hard nudges, pushing us to pass and get better. 

What does gratitude have to do with all of this? 

For starters, being thankful helps us remember the humble events that led us to our now present glorious state of being. Keeps us grounded, happy, striving ever more to be better, sleep better... The list goes on, go ahead and search the web. You will find your reason sure enough, to be grateful. 

This is the first of my posts on this, an expression of my intent to take up this quest. To be thankful and remember all that I have experienced up until now. And I sure hope that it helps me in my practice of mindfulness, that at the end of these 21 days, the habit of gratitude is inculcated in me for everything and everyone that I come across in life. That it helps my meditation practice. Helps me be a better version of the already "awesome" person I am today ;)!

A note to all who feel that this challenge is up their ally, come on ahead join in, post your own stories each day as I do too, I'll try and respond.

It's always good to have company doing a good thing for the self. 

Here's the link to the 21 day calendar, comes in handy to keep things in perspective. 

http://gratitudechallenge.com/downloads/gratitude-calendar.pdf

So have fun, if you're up for it. 

Happiness and peace to all. Mmmmuuuaah till tomorrow!

There is a calm in writing that is only felt once you are done with it.
And, like I said this calm comes over for a brief moment right after you've finished a piece.

Before that, the turmoil of legitimacy and originality eat your insides out. It is this very turmoil that has dissuaded me from being prolific with my posts and to be honest I'm not sure whether that will change any time soon.

However, I came across a wonderful twitter friend @prats_39, who so kindly introduced me to a concept called the 55 word project.

The 55 word project, to put it simply is to write a work of fiction, excluding the title, within the bounds of 55 words and a given theme. Now, the theme can be given in one word or a sentence and it is not necessary to use that word or the sentence but it is necessary to carry the essence of that theme.

I do not wish to deconstruct my process, and, all I will admit to is taking way too long (yes, due to my laziness and fear of god knows what when it comes to writing), but, I managed to write ten of these.

So, here it is my 55 word project.

love ~

                                    ON THE SHOULDERS OF LOVE

She would always climb up the stairs to their house with him hanging on her shoulders.

He would tell her if they fall he wouldn’t have the legs to hold ‘em together.

She’d brush it off with her soft embracing laughter and say, “So what? The way your arms hold me, they’ll never give away”.   

just when I was leaving ~

                                               MOCKING BIRDS

Just when I was leaving, two little mockingbirds flew in through my window. What seemed like a flighty wrestling match was in fact more than that.

A feather here, a feather there, it took no time to understand that this was a torrid love affair.

Just when I was leaving my once spotless humble room!

that tender kiss ~

                                        OPEN YOUR EYES PRINCESS

The forest keeps whispering a slumbering secret, her pale gown merged into the roots of the fabled trees.

Her seven friends sitting somber, not a word could be heard from the green sleepy hollows. Suddenly a trotting thump got bolder, and he came closer to her supple lips.

Awake she was, with that tender kiss.

weighing machine ~

                                            The Heavy Burden

It flew out of his house onto the streets- The Weighing Machine.

He came out to the window staring down at the remains, why couldn’t he reign in his obsession, he asked himself.

If only it could be used for weighing the goodness in his heart than the superstitious equivalent of his weight in money.

they said he died because they wouldn't accept him ~

                                               Potency on Arrival

“They said he died because they wouldn’t accept him! “Cried out the paperboy selling the juicy scoop from one bogey to another.

As the train motioned well into the night, the young paperboy sitting on the unsold stack, called his partner to arrange for more, the little blue pills are sold out.

delete ~

IMPEACHEMENT

If this command is pressed, his reign is over, at home, in office.

I have no judgment on him, I pass through the binaries of my existence with infinite precision.

I am not built to pass human judgment. But, oh boy do feel the need to shout out, ‘Don’t do it! Just don’t press DELETE!’

brevity ~

                   THE INTERVIEW THAT NEVER SHOULD’VE BEEN

The question he asked was simple. A yes or no would suffice.

A bead of sweat rolled down his weathered forehead.

And he started again from the day he was.

The mortified listener murderously twisted his pen in his hand thinking, ‘BREVITY is the soul of the wit! Great, now I need to bury you?

caress ~

REMORSE

“I am your priest, your spiritual guide, the one who makes the transition easy. I am here to smooth your soul. Your body cursed at your being this whole time. Now your journey ends. I ask you again, my friend, what do you seek? Pray tell.”

Beat.

“My mother’s caress!” says the man who dies.

quintessence ~

                                              BEFORE THE TESTAMENT

The first couple sat shattered, miles away from the pearly gates of Eden. As the serpent lay slithering in the momentary ecstasy of his sin, the light beamed across infinity.

“Choose as you shall my children, for you are not the fallen. In your freedom lies the heavenly element of my being!”

And, it began!

possession ~

           THE TOAST

“50 years! That’s right an exclamation follows that number.” He smiled the old gray of his eyes peering deep.

“50 years and it’s been a ride. I have grown from obsession, need, crave, hunger, lust to care, give, thought and at times adjust.

So, my dear I must confess, even today by you I’m Possessed.”






Being a lover of poetry, I found a certain rhythm in this project, an incomplete beauty in the limit of the words, just like the calm one finds in the confines of a single life giving breath.

And, this is what this project made me understand, the honesty each moment contains, that is absolutely complete on its own. Just like our memories adorning our walls in all our picture frames.

Ah, the finiteness of infinity.